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Jefferson Fisher

the *real* reason people ignore you

Published 7 days ago • 1 min read
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Hey Reader,

I was working with a client last week who kept apologizing before she spoke.

"Sorry, quick question—"
"Sorry to interrupt, but—"
"Sorry, this might be dumb—"

She wasn't actually sorry, she was just talking. And every time she said it, everyone in the room took her less seriously.

Here's what I told her to stop doing (and what you should stop doing too):

#1. Stop saying "I'm sorry" when you didn't do anything wrong.

If you mess up, say you're sorry. But if you're asking a question or sharing a thought, don't apologize for it. Instead, swap it:

  • "Sorry I'm late." → "Thanks for waiting."
  • "Sorry to bother you." → "Do you have a minute?"
  • "Sorry for the long email." → "Here's what you need to know."

It's the same message, but now you're not positioning yourself as the problem.

#2. Stop pre-rejecting your own ideas.

You know what kills your credibility faster than anything? It's when you say things like:

"This is probably a dumb question, but..."
"You probably already thought of this, but..."
"I could be totally wrong here, but..."

You're telling people not to take you seriously before they've even heard what you have to say. Try this instead:

  • "Can I add something here?"
  • "Here's how I'm seeing it."
  • "I have a thought on this."

Now you're offering your idea instead of apologizing for it.

#3. "No" is a complete sentence.

If you need to say no, say no and then stop talking. You don't owe everyone an explanation. You don't need to justify your boundaries or apologize for protecting your time. A boundary isn't a negotiation. People might not like your no, but they'll respect you for having one.

This week, pick one of these and try it.

-J

P.S. I’m coming to Australia! If you or a loved one lives Down Under, grab your tickets here. I’d love to meet you.

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156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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