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Jefferson Fisher

3 things: boxing, remote controls, and Humdinger

Published 3 days ago • 2 min read
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Hey Reader,

Fall showed up this week. The high here stayed at 74 today. Yes, that's fall in the South. I'll take it.

A change in season reminds me to take inventory. What deserves my attention? What can I put down? Give the wrong things your attention and you'll miss the good ones sitting right in front of you. That's what this week is about. Let's get into it.

#1. From My Inbox: “A close friend started boxing me out of group conversations. She interrupts me, answers questions directed to me, moves physically between me to separate me from the group and has started beating me to the punch in sharing my own experiences. How do I navigate this?” - Renee

Start with the pause. One breath in, longer breath out. Then take your turn back with one calm line. "I'm going to finish my thought." If she keeps going, say her name and nothing else, then wait. A first name by itself stops momentum faster than any comeback.

And if the pattern holds, ask for five minutes one-on-one. Say what you see, make one request, and stop talking. "I value our friendship, so I'm coming to you straight. When I speak, you jump in and answer for me. When I'm talking, let me finish. I'll do the same for you."

#2. A Communication Tip: Stop Giving Out Remote Controls

You decide how you feel. Nobody else gets that job. Somebody who makes you feel small is holding the remote control to your emotions, pushing your buttons whenever they please. Take the remote back and give them a manual instead. The manual tells them how you operate. It's as simple as saying, "That's not going to work for me." This works for Renee, and it works for anyone standing across from a button-pusher. Give the manual. Keep the remote.

#3. Something I’m Currently Loving: Playing Humdinger with my Kids

Fall activities are back in full swing, so our family is spending a lot more time in the car. The kids and I have been filling that time with Humdinger. The game is simple: one person hums a tune, and everyone else tries to guess the song. It's perfect for a quick trip across town, and it ends with all of us laughing.

I spend a lot of time talking about choosing the right words. But some of the best moments of connection happen without a single word. Sometimes it's a song you hum. A laugh in the car. A few minutes together between one place and the next.

Hold on to the small moments with the people you love. They feel ordinary while they're happening. Those are the ones that matter most.

Glad you’re here with me,

J

P.S. Does your family have a favorite car game? Reply and tell me about it. My kids will thank you.

*Sponsorship Transparency: I only recommend products we use and trust. If I wouldn’t put it in my own home, I won’t put it in yours. Simple as that.

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156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

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Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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