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Jefferson Fisher

3 things: the silent treatment, two questions for your kids, and Keith Green

Published 1 day ago • 1 min read
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Hey Reader,

I'll be on tour in Australia and New Zealand this July. Auckland, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Sydney. Melbourne's first show is already sold out. If you're in the area, grab your tickets now.

Here we go.

#1. From My Inbox: "How do I communicate with someone who's hurt but refuses to talk about it?"

Stop trying to get them to talk. The harder you push, the higher the wall goes. Instead, drop the rope. Your job isn't to get answers now. It's to make it safe to answer later. Swap "What's wrong?" for "I can tell something's heavy. I won't push. Do you want company or space right now?" If they say space, honor it.

#2. Communication Tip: 2 types of questions to ask your kids

My son is eight and when I ask, "How was your day?" I'll usually get some version of "Good" every time. It's not that he doesn't want to talk. It's that "How was your day?" is almost impossible to answer. I'm asking him to summarize six hours in one sentence.

Now I ask two types of questions instead.

  • Emotion questions like, "Tell me something that made you laugh today." It's easier to remember the moment you felt something.
  • Social questions like, "Who did you sit with at lunch?" When you ask about other people, kids open up about other people.

#3. Something I’m Currently Loving - The best of Keith Green

I've had Keith Green on repeat this week. If you don't know him, he was a Christian musician in the late '70s and early '80s. No extra polish, just a guy at a piano saying what he meant. Some weeks I swap him out for Jim Croce. Same energy. Good music for when your brain needs to slow down.

​Listen on Spotify​

Thanks for being here,
J

P.S. If you tried those two questions with a kid, reply and tell me what happened. These are always my favorite emails to read.

*Sponsorship Transparency: I only recommend products we use and trust. If I wouldn’t put it in my own home, I won’t put it in yours. Simple as that.

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156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

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Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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