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Jefferson Fisher

how to handle bad apologies

Published 11 months ago • 1 min read

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Hey [FIRST NAME GOES HERE],

Ever received an apology that didn’t feel genuine?

Here’s how to respond assertively to bad apologies:

1: The No Empathy Apology.

That’s where they say something like, “Well I’m sorry that you feel that way.”

Instead of losing your cool, you will assert yourself and say: “Don’t apologize for my feelings, apologize for what you did.”

It’s like you saying, Nope, these are my feelings. I got those. I’ll be accountable for those. You be accountable for you.

2: The Non-Apology Apology.

That’s where they say something like, “Well I’m sorry if you were offended.”

Here, shift the focus back to their actions by responding, “Don’t apologize for my reaction, apologize for your words.”

It’s like you saying, Don’t apologize for the effect. Apologize for the cause.

3: The Excuse Apology.

This is where they say something like, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I really am. But I’ve just been so stressed lately.”

You’re going to calmly and quietly respond with, “You don’t need to apologize for what your stress has done to you. But you do need to apologize for what it’s done to me.”

Use these tips to make sure apologies are real and make things right.

- J.

P.S. Remember, a sincere apology acknowledges the action (not just the reaction!).

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156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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