how to respond to “I was just joking”

Published 6 months ago • 1 min read

Hey Reader,

Ever had someone say something out of line and then brush it off with, “I was just joking”?

It’s an easy way to dodge accountability.

But you don’t have to let it slide.

Here’s 3 ways to respond:

#1: My personal favorite: “Then be funnier.”

If they claim it was a joke, tell them, “Then be funnier.”

You’re making it clear that what they said wasn’t funny. And if they’re aiming for humor, they missed the mark.

#2: “I’m surprised by that.”

This is a complete power move. When you say, “I’m surprised by that,” it forces them into a weaker position.

They’ll likely start asking, “What do you mean?” or “Surprised by what?”

Your response: “I’m surprised you went with that.” Now, you’re the one in control, and they’re left questioning themselves.

#3: “It doesn’t sound like a joke, it sounds like an issue.”

This one really calls them out. After you say, “It doesn’t sound like a joke, it sounds like an issue,” just stay silent. Let them sit with it.

They’ll either admit how they really feel or start backpedaling, realizing they’ve crossed a line.

The next time someone hides behind “just joking,” you’ll know exactly what to say.

P.S. Last week, I launched something I’ve been working on for a long time: The Jefferson Fisher School of Communication.

It’s an app-based membership where you’ll get everything you need to handle any conversation with confidence.

Members are already loving the Jefferson AI feature — it’s like having me in your pocket, giving you real-time advice 24/7.

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Get daily practice: Join The School of Communication here.

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