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Jefferson Fisher

how to stand up for yourself when it feels impossible

Published 5 days ago • 1 min read

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Hey Reader,

Here's the thing about standing up for yourself: most of us wait until we're so fed up that we either explode or shut down completely. Neither works well.

Standing up for yourself feels hard because it is hard. But the people who do it well aren't doing something magical. They're following a simple framework.

When it feels impossible to stand up for yourself, try this:

#1. Know when it's worth it.

Not everybody is worth getting out of your chair for. Every little comment doesn't require a response.

Just because someone spews trash doesn't mean you're in the business of digging through garbage. Save your energy for what matters.

#2. Stop apologizing for your boundaries.

Eliminate apologies and conditional language before making your position.

"I'm sorry, but I kind of feel uncomfortable about this" becomes "I feel uncomfortable about this."

When you apologize before setting a boundary, you're invalidating yourself. You don't need permission to feel what you feel.

#3. Say no without justifying it.

Get in the habit of saying no without justifying it. When you start justifying, they're going to start defending against your justification rather than coming up with a better solution. "No" is a complete sentence.

So try that!

-J

P.S. My new workbook is available to order now. I wrote it to help you remember what I teach in the heat of the moment. Grab your copy here.​

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156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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