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Jefferson Fisher

say this to a passive-aggressive person

Published 11 months ago • 1 min read

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Hey Reader,

Dealing with passive-aggressive behavior?

Here’s how to handle it:

1: Ask, “Was that meant to be helpful or hurtful?”

When someone says something passive-aggressive, say this: “Was that meant to be helpful or hurtful?”

This question calls out their behavior and it gives them the chance to clarify. Which can often prevent conflict from going any further.

2: Use the phrase “I’m noticing.”

For example, “I’m noticing a negative tone right now.“ Or “I’m noticing a pattern of frustration any time we talk about finances.”

You are observing different emotions, even if they don’t admit them. So it’s a great way to express your perception without direct accusation.

3: Acknowledge the reverse.

Oftentimes people will try to deny negative feelings and say something like, “I’m fine.”

In that moment, acknowledge the reverse and say, “It’s okay if you’re not fine.”

You’re telling them that this is a safe place. And that even if they feel the opposite of what they’re communicating, they can be honest with you.

And that’s how to handle a passive-aggressive person.

- J

P.S. The key to managing passive-aggressiveness is understanding, not escalating. Stay calm and use these tips to guide your next conversation.

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Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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