what to say when someone complains



Hey Reader,

You’ve been stuck listening to someone complain.

It drains your energy, and you’re not sure how to respond without getting pulled in.

Here’s what you can do…

#1. Make them keep going.

If they’re complaining, it’s typically a sign of a much bigger problem, so you want them to get it all out.

#2. Instead of criticizing them, create a path for them.

Instead of getting defensive when they complain to you, say, “Ok, tell me more.”

Let them keep complaining until they empty their box of negative feelings.

#3. After that, empower them with solutions.

When they’ve gotten it all out, try any of these phrases…

  • And what solution do you have so far?
  • How do you propose to resolve this?
  • What's the answer?
  • How do you typically handle this?
  • How have you addressed this in the past?

What you’re doing is teaching them ways to solve the problem themselves rather than being reliant on you for it.

Do this, and you stop the cycle of negativity while teaching them how to solve it.

J

P.S. If you like having word-for-word phrases to use in these moments, that’s exactly what we practice inside the School of Communication.

It's where I do live coaching, give you playbooks for almost every tough conversation you’ll face, and help you practice exactly what to say before your next conversation.

I'd love to meet you. Join here.


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Jefferson Fisher

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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