profile

Jefferson Fisher

stop using these 3 phrases

Published about 1 year ago • 1 min read
​

Hey Reader,

Ever find yourself saying something that feels a little…unsure?

Like you're tiptoeing around your words?

I get it. But the way you phrase things can either build your confidence—or chip away at it.

Here are 3 common phrases that might be holding you back (and what to say instead):

#1: “I hate to bother you, but—”

You’ve just labeled yourself a bother. Now, before even saying a word the other person is thinking, This is going to bother me.

Instead, try: “When you get a moment, I’d like to grab your attention.”
​
It’s clear, confident, and shows respect for their time.

#2: “Does that make sense?”
​
​Don’t doubt your own ability to send a message, or doubt the other person’s ability to receive it.

Instead, say: “Do you have any questions?” or “Do you have any thoughts?”
​
It invites conversation without undermining your message.

#3: “I don’t want to.”
​
​This sounds like you’re on the defensive. Shift it to a preference.
​
For example: “I’d prefer that you didn’t.”

It signals that you have a standard by which you hold yourself and what they’re asking you to do deviates from that.

When you cut out passive phrases, you naturally sound more assertive and confident—and people take notice.

J

P.S. Which phrase do you catch yourself using the most? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear.

*Sponsorship Transparency: I only recommend products we use and trust. If I wouldn’t put it in my own home, I won’t put it in yours. Simple as that.

Get daily practice: Join The School of Communication here.

Need help in a hurry? Chat with JeffersonAI or log in to your existing account.

Read all of my past emails here.

Inbox overloaded? Set your email frequency here.​

No longer want to hear from me? Unsubscribe.​

156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

​

Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

Read more from Jefferson Fisher

Hey Reader, One of the most common questions I get: "How do I advocate for myself without feeling selfish?" The answer is simpler (and easier) than you'd expect. Here’s how to get what you want without pressure, guilt, or a power struggle: #1. Start by making them feel heard. People resist when they feel dismissed. So before you pitch your idea, affirm them first. For example, "I can see how you came to that idea." You don't have to agree with their thoughts to acknowledge them. Making them...

5 days ago • 1 min read

Hey Reader, Have you ever left a conversation feeling more confused than when it started? You replay what was said. You question your memory and start wondering if maybe you’re the problem. That's what gaslighting feels like. In this week’s podcast episode, I break down the 3 signs you’re being gaslit and how to stop it immediately. Here's what you’ll learn in today's episode: Your internal red flags that signal something is off The grounding phrase I use to stay anchored in reality How to...

7 days ago • 1 min read

Hey Reader, Last week, someone emailed me because a coworker talked down to her in front of the entire team. She didn't know what to say in the moment, so she just froze. And now she keeps replaying it, thinking of what she should've said. I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. Here's exactly what to do when someone talks down to you: #1. Flip the dynamic When someone is talking down to you, instead of staying in this inferior position, say that whatever they just told you is...

12 days ago • 1 min read