stop using these 3 phrases



Hey Reader,

Ever find yourself saying something that feels a little…unsure?

Like you're tiptoeing around your words?

I get it. But the way you phrase things can either build your confidence—or chip away at it.

Here are 3 common phrases that might be holding you back (and what to say instead):

#1: “I hate to bother you, but—”

You’ve just labeled yourself a bother. Now, before even saying a word the other person is thinking, This is going to bother me.

Instead, try: “When you get a moment, I’d like to grab your attention.”

It’s clear, confident, and shows respect for their time.

#2: “Does that make sense?”

Don’t doubt your own ability to send a message, or doubt the other person’s ability to receive it.

Instead, say: “Do you have any questions?” or “Do you have any thoughts?”

It invites conversation without undermining your message.

#3: “I don’t want to.”

This sounds like you’re on the defensive. Shift it to a preference.

For example: “I’d prefer that you didn’t.”

It signals that you have a standard by which you hold yourself and what they’re asking you to do deviates from that.

When you cut out passive phrases, you naturally sound more assertive and confident—and people take notice.

J

P.S. Which phrase do you catch yourself using the most? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear.


*Sponsorship Transparency: I only recommend products we use and trust. If I wouldn’t put it in my own home, I won’t put it in yours. Simple as that.

Get daily practice: Join The School of Communication here.

Need help in a hurry? Chat with JeffersonAI or log in to your existing account.

Read all of my past emails here.

Inbox overloaded? Set your email frequency here.

No longer want to hear from me? Unsubscribe.

156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

Jefferson Fisher

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

Read more from Jefferson Fisher

Hey Reader, You try to explain yourself. You slow it down. You walk them through the logic. But somehow, you leave the conversation more exhausted than when you started. It's not a simple misunderstanding. It's a pattern. In this week’s podcast episode, I break down why reasoning never works with someone who has narcissistic tendencies—and exactly what does. This week, you’ll learn: Why logic and explanations only give them leverage How these conversations quietly turn into endurance tests...

Hey Reader, I was working with a client last week who kept apologizing before she spoke. "Sorry, quick question—" "Sorry to interrupt, but—" "Sorry, this might be dumb—" She wasn't actually sorry, she was just talking. And every time she said it, everyone in the room took her less seriously. Here's what I told her to stop doing (and what you should stop doing too): #1. Stop saying "I'm sorry" when you didn't do anything wrong. If you mess up, say you're sorry. But if you're asking a question...

Hey Reader, Are you waiting for the perfect time to have a difficult conversation? I’ve got news for you: it’s not coming. In this week’s podcast episode, I’m breaking down when to say the thing you’ve been putting off: your truth, your boundary, or the hard conversation you keep telling yourself you’ll have “later”. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why waiting for the “right moment” actually makes conversations harder A simple 3-question framework to know when to speak up The 24-hour rule I...