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Jefferson Fisher

“um, did you really mean that?” 😳

Published about 1 year ago • 1 min read

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Hey Reader,

Ever received a compliment that…well…wasn’t a compliment?

Dealing with backhanded compliments can be tricky.

Here’s exactly how to respond (and keep your confidence):

1: Echo their words.

If someone says, “You’re smarter than you look,” repeat it back slowly: “You’re smarter than you look.”

The echo of their words will typically cause them to fix what they said and improve the compliment. So it’s less likely they will repeat that behavior in the future.

2: Highlight the positive.

For example they said, “I wasn’t expecting that to look so good on you.”

You will choose the positive side and say, “You’re right, I agree. It does look good on me.”

It’s a way to accept the positive and ignore the negative.

3: My personal favorite: Silent acknowledgement.

After a backhanded compliment, give it a few seconds of silence. Then simply say, “Thank you.”

It’s a subtle but powerful way to acknowledge what they said, maintain your confidence, and move on.

Next time you get a backhanded compliment, try these responses.

- J.

P.S. Handling moments like this with confidence can turn awkward interactions into opportunities for maintaining your self-respect. You got this!

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156 S. Main Street Ste 300 #769, Lumberton, TX 77657

Jefferson Fisher

Trial Attorney & Communication Expert

Simple, practical communication advice for your next conversation.

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