Hey Reader, You can’t control other people. That’s true at home, work, social gatherings, and even at sporting events. Your only leverage is in your own words. Sierra and I have this conversation with our kids a lot: You don’t get to choose what someone else says or does. You only get to choose what you do next. That’s what this week’s tips are about. Let’s jump in. #1. From My Inbox: “How do I kindly respond to a micro-corrector who acts like a know-it-all?” Take a breath before you answer....
6 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, This week, I'm answering your questions about family. Family knows how to push your buttons. They know what hurts, and sometimes they push anyway. You can spend years trying to get them to understand. But your job is simpler than that. Your job is knowing what to say next. In today’s episode, I’m giving you practical ways to protect your peace, hold your boundaries, and stop carrying what belongs to someone else (even when it's family). You'll learn: What to say when a family...
8 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, I love checking my email. (I know how that sounds. I stand by it.) But hearing from you is my favorite part. This week Nathaniel sent me a note that said, "A lot of communication advice out there focuses on handling what's already broken. You seem to be interested in helping us with the moment tension first appears, before the conversation goes off the rails, so we can change what happens next." Nathaniel, you're right. The first few seconds of a difficult conversation determine...
13 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, Manipulation works when someone convinces you that their reaction is your responsibility. They get upset, apply pressure, or make you feel guilty and suddenly, you’re changing your decision to make their reaction stop. In today’s episode, I'm teaching you how to spot manipulation and what to do when someone tries to use their reaction to control your decision. You'll learn: The common patterns manipulators use to gain leverage over you Why slowing down is one of the best ways to...
15 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, Have you ever asked for feedback, gotten it, and then wished you hadn’t asked? There is a difference between being open to feedback and letting feedback define you. People can give you honest feedback without getting the final say on who you are. You can listen, ask questions, and make adjustments without shrinking yourself in the process. This week, I want to show you how to do both: receive feedback without getting defensive and speak with confidence without backing away from...
20 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, This week, I’m in the truck talking about something none of us like to do: disappoint people. Disappointing people is a skill. Not because you should try to disappoint people. But because there will be times when doing what’s right for you means not meeting someone else’s expectations. In this today's episode, I'm teaching you how to disappoint people without carrying the responsibility for their reaction. You'll learn: Why the hardest part of saying “no” is often what happens...
22 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, A difficult conversation can feel heavy before you ever say a word. You start thinking about what they might say or how they might react. Before long, you’re trying to prepare for ten different conversations that haven’t even happened. You don’t need to do that. Remember, you don’t have to control the conversation. You only need to control yourself. This newsletters is about that (and some healthy news meals I’m loving. More on that later.) Let’s get into it. #1. From My Inbox: “I...
27 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, I sat down with therapist Matthias Barker last week to talk about repairing broken relationships. One thing stuck with me. You can do everything right and the outcome is still theirs to decide. You own your part. You apologize. You leave the door open. But you can't make someone walk through it. This is a tough lesson. And it runs through all three things today. Let's jump in. #1. From My Inbox: "Years ago I hurt my sister's feelings. I have sincerely apologized multiple times....
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, In today’s episode, I answer another round of listener questions. We talk about a husband who never stops talking, choosing phone calls over texts, setting boundaries with family, political disagreements, and expectations around money. Different people. Different relationships. But a lot of the same problem: How do you say what you need without pushing away the people you love? In this episode, you'll learn: How to interrupt someone who talks too much without starting a fight What...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read